• 26/11/2022
• By wizewebsite
• 390 Views

Intimacy and more talking, Work on your relationship like a pro<

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It's been talked about for a year and a half and it probably won't stop just like that. The coronavirus pandemic has really taken a toll on many relationships. People say convincingly that family is the most important thing, but they often mean children. They don't think about partners like that anymore.

Paradoxically, this, together with stress, loss of work and the ever-present uncertainty of everything that politicians will come up with for us in connection with covid, has caused major cracks in many unions.

"The great increase in the divorce rate, but also in separations and couples who have stopped living together and are only surviving next to each other, is visible throughout the civilized part of the world," admits psychologist Jeremy K. Fox.

When you are not used to communicating with each other about what is going on, which in reality very few couples are able to do, it is advisable to visit a specialist. But this is still pointlessly stigmatized in our country.

At the same time, he knows exactly how to put you in the right mood so that you can have fun about everything normally. Think about it. And in the meantime, you can try a few techniques that specialists recommend and that you can master yourself with a little effort.

The first step can be some kind of recognition of achievements. It's best to see it in front of you in black and white. Therefore, people of learning recommend making a kind of bulletin board. It can actually be on the wall or just put it in a journal or other notebook.

First, write down on it the goals with which you entered the marriage. And then, quite honestly, highlight those that you have already achieved together. Among them will be descendants, a pet, a nice garden and much more.

"Then rank in order of importance what you still lack for happiness," advises psychological consultant Meagan Prost and continues: "Then compare both of your boards and make an intersection of the points that are good and those that you would still like they should have indulged." This will focus the planning and the idea of ​​future years in a common direction again, which is desirable.

The big problem today is the lack of deeper mutual communication. Therefore, coach Kelly Sinning often gives her clients only one task: talk to each other. "A person is often completely exhausted by daily duties and a seemingly stereotypical regime and does not give him a chance to discuss the most basic things with his counterpart," says the expert.

According to her, this leads to alienation and the feeling that everyone is completely alone in everything. Another tactic is related to this – devote at least ten minutes a day to genuine interest in the other person's life. This doesn't just mean asking how work was or what he wants for dinner. It means really listening, actively responding to his thought processes and daily problems, and simply being a good partner in that regard. "When appropriate, also praise him for something. That can do a lot,” advises Kelly Sinning.

If you have to deal with something important - worries about the children, the household budget, or maybe even just the fact that your partner spends too much time with friends drinking beer or, God forbid, he may be cheating on you, in your opinion, don't immediately blurt it out on him without thinking .

"Serious conversations have their time and you need to plan it carefully," warns psychologist Timothy Legg. According to him, it is necessary to choose a quiet time of day and an equally harmonious environment, at least a day in advance. So you both compare everything in your head. "Most conflicts arise because they are resolved under the wrong conditions. And that's a shame," says the expert.

Clarify what mutual intimacy is

The last important thing is to make time for the other person. Feel free to write it in your diary, but at least once every three days you should experience something intimate together. But be careful - everyone has a different idea of ​​intimacy. Someone feels she is intellectual and needs to talk. Another is emotional and longs for the expression of feelings, another simply insists on sex.

There are also those who need to go out with you to meet a bunch of mutual friends, because it recharges them so much. The key is to tell each other how you and your partner are doing, and to accommodate each other. Because you're still together. And that's why it's good to elevate your relationship and not stomp it into the ground.