• 17/09/2022
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The biggest mistakes of divorcing parents - Novinky.cz<

The biggest mistakes of divorcing parents

Look with us at the most common lies that serve as an alibi for parents to make themselves feel better during the divorce at the expense of the real feelings of their children.

My kids want me to be happy

No, your kids want their biological mom and dad to act together to act like reasonable adults who will create a stable and happy home for them . Children are focused on their own happiness and this privilege associated with childhood cannot be denied to them.

My children will be better off

Not always. According to research, children after divorce have more emotional problems and behavioral disorders. They are also more likely to struggle financially afterwards and experience mistreatment and even abuse from the new adult member of the household.

My next marriage will be better

Unfortunately, that is unlikely. Second and subsequent marriages have higher divorce rates than first marriages. This is because people rarely change and tend to keep repeating their mistakes. In addition, subsequent marriages often involve new additions to the family or mixed families, which only adds to the problems.

My relationship with my children will not change

It really doesn't have to. But it really depends on how the parents communicate with each other and continue to function. The problem can arise both with the parent who lives under the same roof with the child, and with the other living elsewhere. While a parent living in the same household has the advantage of constant contact, this advantage can be erased the moment the other parent starts buying the child gifts, or perhaps by allowing him or her what the other parent forbids for educational reasons, etc.

I will have no regrets

You probably will. As soon as the emotions calm down and you gain distance, you will surely ask yourself whether you did the right thing by divorcing or if you should have given marriage and family another chance. These regrets and regrets will deepen in old age, when you will lack the pride that comes when your children and grandchildren no longer admire you as the family patriarch or matriarch.

We shouldn't stay together because of the children

The biggest mistakes of divorcing parents - News. cz

In reality, there is no worse reason to break up a family. Parents should admit that divorce does not concern the children, but above all themselves. Children must not justify any of their actions. Shifting the responsibility to them is the worst offense.

Divorce will solve all problems

Divorce will never solve all problems, on the contrary, you will create many new ones. You start to worry about how the children are doing when they are with your ex-husband. How will their new partners treat them. It is completely naive to think that by leaving your ex, everything will be easy and cool. At the same time, the idea that the ex-partner will remain alone for a long time and that you will have control over the children while they are with the other parent and his new family is also quite far-fetched.

Children are flexible and adapt to new situations

Children do not adapt. Yes, they will try to cope with it all, but according to them, it will never be the same again. Like it or not, you just showed them how fleeting and unreliable love can be with your move. All the certainties and the feeling of security are soon gone, and the worst thing is that they will carry all this into their future relationships.

Of course, divorce is not always bad. There are cases where one of the spouses is completely out of it and it would be very dangerous and even destructive for the children to live with him under the same roof. In most cases, however, the selfishness and short-sightedness of adults is behind the divorce.

They wallow in their own incompetence and self-aversion instead of actively working on themselves and their relationship with others. They began to look at problems from a different point of view than their own, they were able to put themselves in the other's situation, and they rose above their own smallness and prioritized their obligations to their children and their partner.

People are short-tempered and run away instead of trying to save themselves. They think the grass will be greener on the other side of the fence, but the reality is simply different. The key to saving the relationship is for the couple to start prioritizing family responsibilities over their personal desires again. Because a sense of duty to your partner and children acts as the glue that holds everything together, including the weak and strong points. It then gives a chance that there is still time to fix everything and create a harmonious relationship again.

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