• 07/02/2023
• By wizewebsite
• 299 Views

“The right of hetero people to marriage will not be reduced if the gays and lesbians can marry.The company has to count on everyone, ”says sister Daphne Ospi<

I feel that HIV is under control in Germany today. What else do you have to do as Sisters of Eternal Joy?

Daphne: Our main mission is to spread universal joy. If someone doesn't feel well, they're not open to important messages like how to practice safe sex, whether to consider PrEP, etc. If people are uncomfortable or even feel discriminated against, they close their minds. That is why it is most important to spread universal joy first of all.

And how do you spread that joy?

Daphne: First, by how we look. We wear colorful make-up that entertains people, we joke with others when we visit clubs and bars, we smile at them and invite them to smile with us. A smile says more than a thousand words.

What do you usually do at pride festivals and other queer events?

Daphne: We distribute informational material about safe sex and try to establish personal contact with festival participants. We talk to them about sexual health and ways to have safe sex. The condom is not the only protection option, there is PrEP and also the TASP strategy – treatment as prevention. Few people still know about it.

If you are HIV positive, take your medication regularly and your viral load is below detectable levels, you cannot pass the virus on to others. This is a very important fact, the knowledge of which needs to be spread in society, because many people with HIV still feel stigmatized. Their friends don't even want to go to the bar with them because they're afraid they'll get caught. However, the N=N principle (undetectable = non-infectious) changes the rules of the game. If a condom accidentally fails while having sex with an HIV-positive person on treatment with a zero viral load, there is no reason to panic. The partner simply does not get infected from it.

So the N=N rule is still not well known even in Germany?

Daphne: It is getting better because not only we sisters are spreading awareness, but many other groups and projects. But it's still a topic that needs to be talked about. More and more young people are constantly reaching the age where they have their first sexual experiences, and they don't learn about these things in school. This applies especially to PrEP. I personally think that PrEP is one of the best inventions in history. It's a pill that you take in the morning with breakfast, so there's no risk of forgetting to use it in the evening when you have sex somewhere. Therefore, I see PrEP as a very important method of prevention and people should know about it.

What is the HIV situation in Germany? In the Czech Republic, we have PrEP, we have awareness campaigns, but our numbers are still growing. How is it with you?

Daphne: In Germany we are more or less still at the same numbers. After the introduction of PrEP, the numbers of new infections dropped a bit, and the covid pandemic suppressed them further because it was not so easy to find a sexual partner. Although online dating sites were still running, bars, darkrooms and saunas were closed. And people really followed covid precautions.

That's interesting, our numbers have increased during covid. The Czechs were probably rather bored and didn't have as many opportunities to be tested.

Daphne: That could be the reason for the increase. When the HIV testing campaigns were running in Germany, of course the numbers of new patients increased at that time. Because more people got tested, and thus there were more arrests. Perhaps a similar situation occurred in the Czech Republic when the test checkpoints reopened. At first glance, it is always a shock that the numbers grow. But it is very important to detect the infection, because then it is possible to put people on treatment, reduce their viral load and prevent them from spreading the virus. This way the numbers will start to decrease.

What is the status of LGBT+ people in Germany today? You have recently accepted marriage for same-sex couples, you have the option of a third gender on your passport, although it is only for intersex people...

Daphne: We are ahead of the Czech Republic, but there is still room for improvement. In our country, there are still big differences between life in big cities and in the countryside, where it is much more difficult to be accepted as an LGBTIQ person by mainstream society. It's great that we have marriage for gay and lesbian couples. If the government gives equal rights to everyone without distinction, it is easier for society to understand that everyone deserves the same rights.

On the other hand, we are still having a big discussion about the rights of transgender people. The current law dates from the 1980s and makes gender changes in personal documents conditional on sterilization. The German trans movement is fighting for a completely new law that would allow female citizens to change their gender without undergoing surgery and sterilization. I think this is right, because then people will have the opportunity to test whether they really want to change gender, or if they are more non-binary. The current law allows no hesitation. Trans people have their inner feelings and inner coming out, but then they have family and loved ones who often force them into a quick decision and transition.

What led you to become a sister of eternal joy?

Daphne: I joined the order more than 20 years ago for two reasons. My great uncle was gay and lived with a partner. We visited each other very often. I was about 10 years old when my great uncle's partner died of AIDS and the whole family was in a panic because he often played with us children. This was the mid-1980s, when not much was known about HIV/AIDS. So one of the reasons for my membership in the Sisters of Perpetual Joy is that someone very close to me died of AIDS.

I moved to Berlin in 1997 and met the Sisters of Eternal Joy at Berlin Pride 1998. At that time I knew drag queens, but the sisters were different - their faces were painted white, they had colorful make-up, they didn't wear wigs, but veils. Among my friends was the drag queen Gabi, who also acted as Gabriela's sister. I asked her to explain what exactly nurses do. And she immediately invited me to the regular weekly meeting of members of the order. The Berlin nurses were very open and accepted me without reservation as I really am. And I decided to become one of them.

How much time do you spend working as a nurse? I assume you have a normal job on the side…

Daphne: It depends on the season. In the summer, we travel a lot on holidays, of which there are a lot in Germany. We usually start on Friday as a bar tour, on Saturday we go to the parade and sometimes there are events on Sunday as well. So during the peak season, I'm definitely at the station ten times a month. We also attend a lot of events on World AIDS Day on December 1. And sometimes I go to smaller events during the work week. It's exhausting at times, but I love it.

How long does it take you to completely put on a nurse costume?

Daphne: It usually takes me two hours. It's not just about makeup and dressing up. It is also a meditation. When we're out as sisters, I guess no one cares about the real person that's under the mask. We are here to serve the community. They held people's hands, wiped their tears, and talked to them about safe sex and whatever they needed right now. Those two hours of meditation help me put aside my personal life with everyday problems and enter the persona of Sister Daphne.

People usually come to us with their own problems and sorrows. For example, they confide in me that they had a positive test yesterday and they don't know what to do. That's why it's good to be fully focused, listen to everyone and be their guide in finding the next path. People often have no one to confide in, and they will tell me their whole story right on the street. Listening is one of the key elements of our work.

You actually provide some therapy to others. Then where do the nurses themselves go for therapy to bear the burdens that others have placed on them?

Daphne: You can become a full-fledged nurse only after about a year and a half of training. Newbies go through a variety of training, including strategies for maintaining mental health and not letting the problems that people confide in them fall on. We also learn to say no if we can't handle what a person is putting on us. It's perfectly fine to say, "Honey, I'm sorry, but today is too much for me, and I can't take it anymore." Because it doesn't do anyone any good to have a sister break down, too. In severe cases, we refer people to professional help.

When we paint our faces, we turn into a sister. And when we take off our make-up, we also wash away the negativity that people have put on us. But we have to learn that, just like psychotherapists, for example. It's a professional approach where you are very friendly to people, but you don't let their problems get to you.

What image does the Czech Republic have in Germany? And be honest.

Daphne: Beer, beer, beer. Germans love Czech beer and good food. (laughs) The Czech Republic is the most progressive in terms of the freedom of queer people compared to its eastern neighbors. Germany and the Czech Republic have a lot in common in this.

However, we in the Czech Republic are now losing our openness and there is a danger that we will be overtaken by conservative influences.

Daphne: But this is also happening in Germany, things are slowing down. A lot of people say, "What more do you want, you already have everything!" But if there are still differences between people who fall in love with people of the same and different sexes, then we don't have everything!

And one important thing needs to be emphasized: the fact that we call someone's rights does not mean that we will take away another's rights. The right of straight people to marry will not be diminished if same-sex couples are allowed to marry. There is a need for everyone to be counted on in society. If no one feels left out, everyone will understand at the same time that democracy is a really good idea.