When we are not happy, the innocent gossip and gossip border with bullying<

Probably few of us can say that this does not apply to her. Sometimes we are simply the ones who slander, and let's not kid ourselves, sometimes we are also the ones who are slandered (whether we know about it or not). Try to remember the last time you did it - it's often completely unintentional. With a friend over coffee, with a man over wine in the evening, with mom on the phone while cooking... Gossiping about others is a common part of almost everyone's conversations. But when does making funny comments about someone who isn't there actually become immoral?

We crave sensation

As with everything, there are different styles and degrees of gossip. The first one could really just be the chatter of friends over coffee, when they talk about what someone has new, how much it cost, where they bought it, who got what disease or who is cheating whom. We talk about people we know in some way. And so we exchange various information about them. One speaks, the other listens, later the listener takes the information further, thinks something about it, emphasizes something other than what is actually important, and so on.

Essentially, it is innocent talk, behind which there is a desire for a sensation, a desire to reveal something that the other person does not know and could theoretically be interested in. The problem can arise at the moment when these news from the lives of others are not based on the truth and we move such guaranteed information on. That's when seemingly innocent gossip can go very badly. Especially if it gets to the person the rumor is about.

And let's try to think about it when talking about someone else; so that not everything we heard has to be true right away. It is usually half as much. And often the truth is somewhere completely different.

Where Bullying Begins

Do you know someone who can't talk about anything but others? And it not only communicates information such as who has new things and who is dating whom, but also such completely disgusting things. Details from intimate life (she is frigid, that is a "brush") or thorough descriptions of different parts of someone's body (she has terrible cellulite on her ass, that one's mouth stinks) to solutions to strangers' life situations (her husband won't give her a penny, a man cheats her at every turn) and the biggest "delicacies" (god, she has an ugly child). Sometimes we just laugh at such information, but other times we spread it further. However, try to imagine how the person to whom these words relate would probably feel. They would probably touch him, bring him to tears and maybe even cause him psychological problems.

Slander often borders on bullying. Apart from being cruel in itself, listening to bad talk all the time creates negative energy. It spoils the mood and air and causes remorse in people who still have some. If someone in your company says nasty gossip so often that it makes you uncomfortable, stop them. How? Try asking him the question: "Why are you telling me this?" Maybe there will be a few seconds of silence, maybe you will embarrass the person in question, but you can almost be sure that he will stop doing it in your presence.

Lack of satisfaction

Psychologists say that we gossip when we are not happy in life. When we can't live up to our full potential, we're not happy with our relationship, our looks, whatever. We use gossip to convince ourselves and others that there are people who are much worse off. We raise self-respect by undermining the respect of others. We also like to learn about the mistakes of others in order to justify our own. This phenomenon also explains our eagerness for media scandals. When we read about rape, murder, or infidelity, our mistakes and problems seem smaller for a while.

Gossip Hurts

Before you judge someone for their actions, try to put on their shoes for a moment and walk in them on their sidewalk, try their every trip. That's just what they say, it's not realistically possible, but you may know from your own life that if you did something bad, it might not have been because you were really bad, but because someone else was bad to you. Because you were desperate. Cheating on your husband and leaving for a fighter is a disgusting act. But what if the man in question was psychologically abusing the woman at home. It's hard to judge when you're not completely familiar with someone's situation. So don't do it.

If you get unpleasant information, half-truths or completely disgusting things about yourself, it hurts. And it takes a good amount of foresight so that we don't let them get to our body. You can repeat to yourself a hundred times that the person who said that about you is just envious of you, wants to throw you down because he is miserable himself, but sometimes it just doesn't work and it will take a while for you to get over it.

However, you can also benefit from it. If the gossip concerns your appearance and it is within your power to do something about it, or if it even bothers you in the corner of your soul, try to work on yourself. Not for the slanderer, but for yourself. However, be sure not to act in a rush of emotions, defend yourself, and do not return the slander with the same coin, because then you will become exactly the same person as the person who hurt you. On the contrary, try to be even better than before.

Gossip and social networks

We often take someone we only know from Instagram for a prank. We judge his figure, facial expression, hair, clothes or laugh at his embarrassing stories. People who post their photos daily seem to want to be talked about. Sometimes they want to outrage those around them, other times they want to arouse admiration, or rather envy. Because we're only human, these photos evoke some emotion in us, which is perfectly normal. And it also happens that someone irritates us with his Instagram existence and directly forces us to speak negatively about him in front of others. Do you know what needs to be done then? Unfollow him.