• 08/12/2022
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From the wedding in the church you do not immediately balance - Novinky.cz<

Ze svatby v kostele se hned tak nevyvážete

To make everything as it should be, the parish priest should train their sheep.The engaged couple with them take several interviews where they try to figure out whether the wedding is a really good idea in their case.

“My colleague's parish priest left one bride directly from the church.Basically until she realized before the altar that what she did was not a good idea.Fortunately, she had the courage to leave and I think it was the right decision, ”says parish priest Jan Blaha from the parish by Don Bosek in Prague.

Ecclesiastical marriage will abolish until death

"The validly closed Catholic marriage is indispensable and ends up to the death of one of the spouses, so the decision should be as ruling as possible," he adds.

The engaged couple must meet many conditions to marry, and it is on the priest to see if all these conditions are met.The priest should also know the fiance well."Before the wedding we went around ten sessions with a priest, each lasted about an hour," says Růžena Valentová, who married nine years ago.

Růžena, who has been led to faith since childhood, now lives with her husband and two children in Olomouc.She had somehow brought her husband at the beginning of her relationship to faith and Catholic rules don't take light.With a nine -year -old distance, the seminar evaluates as stimulating but on the other hand too short.

“Before preparing sessions, we got some overview of the questions that we will discuss and we were supposed to discuss them with the partner first and then discussed them with the priest.One of the topics was also affected by partner coexistence and sex, ”says Růžena.

This lesson did not take the fiancé in a marriage priest, but in Jahn (the lowest dignitaries in the Catholic Church) who was married and had four children."Our priest sent us to Jahn, saying that he really has nothing to say," adds Růžena.

"In addition to the priest, a seminar can be led by a person authorized, it may be a couple," explains pastoral assistant Martin Staněk from the Academic parish in Prague.Currently there is a lack of priests in the Czech Republic, which is why the academic parish opened mass seminars for engaged couples.Both church agents and psychologists are lecturing at these seminars.

“There are also psychologists from marital counseling centers who see more of a crisis and deal with marriage when it does not work.After completing the seminar, the engaged couple sometimes tell us that we may be too discouraged and warned, ”says the pastoral assistant.

The preparation consists of a theoretical introduction into a Christian marriage, a lesson on the legal aspects of marriage and the psychological and spiritual block, where the communication of spouses, the psychology of marital relationship and spirituality - spiritual life in marriage is discussed.

A wedding of free will

The right priest should make sure that the marriage he concludes should arise from free will.It is one of the basic conditions.If both spouses do not marry completely voluntarily, marriage can be declared invalid.

“At present, this requirement may not seem so important.In the West, emphasis is more of a partnership, but in Africa, for example.

"Weddings are mainly arranged by parents and some institutions, agreements occur when the engaged couple is still children," adds Staněk.Canon law applies to all Catholics everywhere in the world, the priest should not allow the marriage to which one of the engaged couple internally disagrees.

The devotee should also supervise other essentials regarding the validity of marriage.Light weight is not taken by pure intentions and truthfulness of the engaged couple.Before marriage, the engaged couple must fill in the form, while some questions may evoke a smile.For example, whether they did not make the death of a former husband or wife.

If you kill your husband or wife so that you can take someone else, you will be entitled to the other wedding after many years of repentance."Mostly a couple comes to the priest and asks if he would give them," explains the priest Blaha, who leads the pre -wedding meeting with the engaged couple himself.

"I have five to six meetings with future husbands, during which they should agree on how they will raise children and whether they have found a common or mutually respecting view of the spiritual world," adds.

Session for the unbelievers

Mr and Mrs Hatter who prepared a priest Blaha for the wedding together creates programs for adult education.They recently had a civilian wedding, but Mrs. Kloboučníková wants to have a Catholic ceremony in the church as a practicing Catholic.For her husband, this event is far from being as important."Peter is not a believer, we talked a lot about the session about how he perceives the whole question," says Lenka Kloboučníková.“For me as a believer civilian wedding means nothing.The Church's wedding is, on the other hand, as a blessing from God, ”adds.

Although Petr Kloboučník is not a believer, he is baptized and therefore Catholic.The marriage between him and his wife will therefore be the sacramental.If two baptized Catholics are taken and fulfill all the conditions of marriage, even the Pope does not have much to marry.

The divorce is not invalidation

The Catholic Church does not recognize divorce and does not allow it in two baptized Catholics.You can only get rid of a husband or wife if you can prove that all the conditions have not been met when marrying.

“There are about fourteen obstacles that prevent a valid marriage from being valid.Once you need to conceal a mental illness, ”explains Blaha.You must also not go for anyone else and after the wedding you have to want and willingly accept children and do everything to raise them in faith.

On the other hand, marriage closed between Catholic and non -Catholic is valid, but not sacred, terminating such marriage can make much easier.

“At the seminars we devote the opportunity to say goodbye to the marriage a whole lecture.It's a really popular topic, ”says Martin Staněk.“The Catholic Church has marital rights in this respect.The whole absence of divorce in the Catholic and many other churches is based on Christ's command - what God has joined, do not solve man - which is an ideal we try to approach closer.Unfortunately, we know from experience that it will not always work, ”adds Staněk.

Occasionally, even in the Catholic Church, voices appear to be more likely to come closer to the rules of the Orthodox Church, where the divorce is possible.After several years of separation it is possible to divorce and get a second chance in the form of a second partner."I think the permission of divorce would reduce the value of marriage as such.The volume for a certain period of time is not the same as the bundle for life, ”says the priest of Blaha.

Training for non -Catholics

But the Catholic Church has made some progress.Among our great -grandmothers and great -grandfathers, it was definitely not common for a Catholic to take a evangelical or a member of the Church of Czech Brethren.Today, an atheist can also marry in the Catholic Church.

“In our parish there are at least a third of marriages baptized with uninhabited.In this case, the bishop is asked to permit, but this is a mere formality, there is no reason to defend such a marriage, ”says pastoral assistant Martin Staněk.

Catholics undertake at the ceremony that they will raise their children in faith.If a Catholic takes a non -Catholic, he undertakes to do everything possible for children to be brought up in the Catholic faith."But we don't know if we'll be baptized," says Petr Kloboučník, who with his wife just a mixed couple creates.

What about the kids?

During the Catholic ceremony you also promise to raise your children in faith.Although Růžena Valentová evaluates a seminar with a priest and Jahn as an inspiring and valuable experience, but during the nine years of marriage would be appreciated by other advice with which a person in partner coexistence and fulfillment of parental duties meets.

"In an hour we have completed with Jahn and his wife, there is certainly not much to discuss," he says.Problems in her case occurred when she tried to lead her little children to faith and guide them regularly to mass.

“Unfortunately we had to stop going to the church where my husband and I got married.We have two children aged three to five years and the young children are not welcome too much because they do not last calm and simply cancel, ”explains Růžena, for whom their children are really important.

“Now we go to the church managed by the Dominicans.Are there much more open for families.During the first part of the mass, children go to the sacristy, where they talk about the content of the mass so that they understand it and maybe draw a picture on the topic, ”says Růžena.

Marriage and upbringing of children is not easy and to have a certainty that your partner has decided to stand by you and support you all your life is certainly a pleasant feeling.Representatives of the Catholic Church, however, recommend the engaged couple to think about whether they are mentally linked not only with their husband or wife, but also with the Catholic Church and faith in God.

"Marriage is a task for which it is necessary to prepare thoroughly, so there are pre -wedding seminars," says theologian Tomáš Halík."This lifelong commitment should be taken on himself, but only when he understands the whole Christian philosophy of marriage and shares it.It is really not just an aesthetic form of the ceremony, ”emphasizes.