• 02/08/2022
• By wizewebsite
• 516 Views

Breaking taboo in the family is the hardest.Such a "little secret" is poison, says the expert<

Every company has its taboo.They concern interpersonal relationships, in which words we refer to some persons or some facts as we think about them.They concern what we look like.Taboo is to mock someone who is in a wheelchair, at the same time it is still a social taboo and the fact that physically and mentally disabled people want to have sex.Although there are plenty of taboo, it is usually not difficult to confess and successfully move public space without the forbidden zones inadvertently break.

“Hledám chlapa, ale nemůžu se hýbat.” I “ležáci” chtějí sex, ukazuje příběh JanyŽena

Families are fascinating in this and completely different.Taboo in them can be completely anything.Each family has some taboo and each acts somehow.Family, according to psychotherapist Eva Labusová can pamper the huge traumas without breaking for decades.Without treatment and without forgiveness they translate them from hump to hump for generations.

What does it mean is a thing taboo?

Taboo is something that cannot exist in its truth because individuals or teams do not allow it.This is something that has been made by an unspeakable.

Why do we actually taboo in our lives?

Sometimes because it appears to be offended and unacceptable socially.Other times because it has been declared unavailable and inviolable for reasons for ritual, religious, worldview.The first area mainly applies to "human" things - for example sexuality, diseases, addiction, death, shame, guilt or property.The second rather "divine" -for example, the decision of the authority, who and how may it be or not to deal with things between heaven and earth or enter into direct contact with God, no matter how perceived and called in any way.

Can it just be fine that we ever live with some taboo?Or is it necessary to work with it and try to stop exist from the perspective of your profession?

If we live with any taboo, we live with a load.However, working with taboo and its uncovering to lead to relief and remedy has its rules.If we want to break taboo too quickly and sharply, under pressure or even violence, it may be strongly counterproductive, because taboo is usually closely related to other important key topics.

Špátová: Gottovi nepropadali strachu ani smutku. Karla ale trápilo, že opouští dceryŽena

Tabu usually involves painful split, which in our originally Jew-Christian patriarchal culture for many millennia has existed for the unnatural separation of the body and soul, or.mass and spirit, including a significant humiliation and disadvantage of femininity.It is remarkable that all of this has become the subject of reinforced professional and lay interest in recent years, and in the context of the intergenerational transmission in the context of the intergenerational transmission.These are interconnected areas whose sensitive unraveling allows you to remedy and healing and can lead to the so -called.Post -traumatic, personality growth, which always goes hand in hand and detecting and healing of family and social taboo.

Waiting for the Savior

When I wondered what could be taboo in the family, I looked around the wider kinship.I found suicide, unknown father, incest, still born children, disputes over property, psychosis, violence, alcoholism, anything related to sex or even ordinary death that has become taboo.Are you a significantly affected family, or does this scale normally appear?

In my experience, any family has some of its taboo, although we can see that some are burdened much more than others.We also see that families and other human grouping systems tend to recycle some kind of taboo and trauma intergenerationally.People are silent about topics they perceive as threatening and with whom they do not know advice for some reason.This means that it is beyond their strength or ability to confront them openly and therefore remove them from a personal or family story and remove from personal or family memory.

Prohlédnout grafikuProlomili tabu, odkryli psychické problémy. Time zveřejnil seznam nejvlivnějších lidí

In order not to disclose, they make the opportunity to communicate differently and of course avoid direct confrontation.Gradually, there is a sort of spare reality that does not allow questions, let alone answers and does not allow development.Not communicating problems become poison that detoxifies human self -confidence and self -acceptance.The relationship environment is dilapidated and aimed at stagnation, or to manifest the essence of taboos in some competently lived symptoms, whether psychosomatic, especially body or soul illness, or social.I mean xenophobia, homophobia, searches of scape rams, black and white vision, waiting for leaders or savior.

What happens to the family, where some taboo is uncompromisingly grown for generations?

In such families there are defense mechanisms that allow people to hold any awareness of painful problems outside the conscious mind.It is a split that serves to make uncomfortable themes into consciousness.Some situations are so threatening that the split simply allows you to survive.However, it is important to realize that it is to be just an auxiliary mechanism to serve for the most necessary time to restore forces.Unfortunately, it often happens that individuals and teams in the defensive reaction are settled and curled and in unpreparedness return to reality even after it would be appropriate to start solving the problems.

Prohlédnout grafikuPodcasty jen o politice? Kdepak, ženy je využívají, aby vytáhly i tabuizovaná témata

Family taboo has been inherited for a long time for many generations.Defense strategies that spontaneously triggered in traumatic situations and were to be used to survive and bridge the most difficult times, become chronic and block further development.

Can you give some specific examples?

In families with disturbed communication where some taboo has been settled, usually, if we look carefully, we find sources of its origin.It is always necessary to work with the history of the family, if there is no trauma social- and that the events of 20.century and experience with totalitarian regimes have accumulated!

It is also necessary to work with the personal stories of individual family members and their possible experiences that have ever fundamentally disrupted their inner balance.It is every personally perceived or overwhelming event that has become so violently and unexpectedly that there was a strong overload of the individual's nervous system, whether suddenly, shock, or long -term and dragged.In addition to the exterior incoming problems, the life of the family often controls pathological internal rules that bind the events in relationships and affect experience, including what is and is not allowed to think, let alone say it.

How do you think it is not allowed to think or say something?

Maybe they are not talking about emotions, the manifestations of anger or sad mood are not tolerated, conflicts are not allowed or so -called "complaints".Children growing in such families have no choice but to disconnect and take over from their authentic experience, "inherit" that split position.

Eva Labusová

These children will eventually adapt to anywhere, but at the price that they will be much owed to their desired self -development.They often take over the tasks and roles that actually belong to adults, represent their parents' partners or do their parents, take care of younger siblings, balance everything possible and save what can be done.They are coming about their childhood.They simply suffer from weakness or immaturity of those who brought them to the world.

Harmonious self -harm

Can one specific family member be a source of taboo?

Yes, it also happens - often it is a dominant person who is entitled to other family members to decide.We distinguish too physical, manifested by threats, guilt, blackmail or violence.Psychic, focusing on reducing the self -confidence of others, strictly measured praise, etc..The power of social, consisting of limiting contacts with others.Power of information, including measuring or denying information.But often also too economic, including the possibility to decide on (not) fulfilling the needs of individual family members by denied financial resources.

How can we imagine such a person?

These family "pests" are people in personally non -development, emotionally unbalanced, without enough self -reflection and above all without the ability to open any inner work.Instead of looking for things to improve, they use - usually unconsciously - manipulative techniques and emotional blackmail and often aggression and violence.In their counterpart, in the role of weak and passive we find people affected by their own self -destruction.A typical example are different types of self -harm, leaks and addictions.

But the family usually does not compose only from the aggressor and its counterpart.What else?

The remaining family members usually pass out somehow.However, their lives are also in a strong threat to the loss of authenticity if they do not rim with the devastating environment of their family.

Češka v Afghánistánu: Domácí násilí je všude na světě. My si na dokonalost hrajemeŽena

Perhaps it is worth noting that families that work on an avid communication formula can sometimes look quite harmoniously externally.In fact, people live in them in isolation and sincerity, sharing or communication does not flow.The risk of this setting is that any major problem can easily endanger such a family.The crisis also occurs at the moment when someone from the family system after all happens and longs for true and authenticity.Things start to move in motion.

Ugly family silver

I am interested in your clients in psychotherapy who are struggling with some taboo.What is their contract?

Few come up with the fact that he would already know in advance that he wants to solve family taboo.People are looking for psychotherapy because they are not well.They feel that they are not doing something essential in their lives, they want to change it.Although the aim of the inner work is the healed presence and hopeful future, it is necessary to look into the past, because it is the key to the roots and context of the client's story.

It is a rule that sooner or later we will reach a point where the client stands before the decision to find the courage to see the original sources of his problems and accept and feel the pain that is related to the recognition and dissolution of family and gender loads.

Obermannová: I babičky mají sex a můžou být přitažlivé. Milování po šedesátce je tabuŽena

What does such a job look like?

In the therapeutic process, if possible, we do not reach abbreviations or displacement, on the contrary.Step by step we reveal what was neglected before.Therapy should help in this procedure at a reasonable pace, but also not dodging when you need to go through a tear valley or handle a very tight gorge.But such a way leads to discovering inner treasures and man more and more perceives that the source of his greatest strength and wisdom carries himself in himself.

It is probably clear that those who go for self -knowledge need to always find courage and endurance.I mostly perceive my clients as avatars who see further and depth and feel more intense, and above all they want to live much more conscious and meaningfully.Sometimes it is from their families to time or forever separate.Other times, it will gradually draw other family members into the healing process.

Could you describe the few most common taboos that appear in families?And which we have society -wide?

We've already mentioned a lot.The most common family taboos include severe illnesses, especially psychological, dying and death, undisturbed tragic death and suicide.Different types of addictions.Reasons for studying, smell, fear of misunderstanding or conviction - criminal prosecution, minority sexual identity, rape, ostracism, bullying, loss of work.

And then we have the "family secrets".

These are the most difficult taboo solvable.Sexual abuse, incest, domestic violence, infidelity, divorce, undetermined disputes eg.because of heritage.Black Sheep and Family Outsiders - Why is someone not in contact with someone, not admitted children born outside married relationship, still born children.And the financial taboo, be it debts, loss of assets, or poverty, but also a great wealth.

Každých 11 minut spáchá sebevraždu mladý člověk, pandemie umocnila duševní problémyZdraví

Every one of us

To what extent to the family taboos projected by 20.century?

Topics concerning extraordinary and marginal trauma from genera history are common.There are still Holocaust, political persecution and imprisonment, post -war removal, loss of assets in 50.years.But it's not just about history.Today, as we know from the phenomenon of "divided society", we also suffer significantly worldview, political, religious and Covido vaccinations.

You say that the family taboo affects each of us.This is actually quite a terrible idea.

Yet I see reasons for optimism.Although our time is complicated, it offers, at least for now, historically unprecedented ways to reveal taboo at all levels, actively work with and open up all their recently closed drawers.We are witnessing to many people to heal what to heal, at all possible levels.Perhaps that is why today is about psychotherapy, inner work and spiritual search such an interest.There is an increasing number of those who are increasingly aware of the negative impact of taboos on their lives and want to do something about it.It applies to all of us.

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