Alena Antalová: Aging well means being happy - Vl<

All conversations with you revolve around two lines: children and theater. Do you have room for yourself at all?

When both of my life roles fulfill me so much that I don't need any more time for myself! In addition, when I spend time in the theater, I spend it first with myself. After all, theater is about an eternal search within oneself. Due to my roles, I am with myself very often, it is a kind of psychotherapy. You cry out all the different personal feelings and emotions, even in the theater and in the role of someone else, but it always affects you, and therefore you cry out your fresh wrongs, joys, worries, fears that you experience. This works for a good theater, and a good director wants it from you and digs it out. I never felt the need to rest from the theater and the children. Of course, I don't go for manicures and pedicures now, or at least not as before. Even though my oldest daughter is already painting her nails here and there, and it's very nice to do it together. What I miss is the time my husband and I would be wearing. We met and immediately had children, we spent little time alone.

Were you so sure about that relationship?

Absolutely. I had no doubt about it and did not wait for anything. So we've been in the team of family and work for sixteen years. My friend and colleague Pavlínka Vitázková makes fun of me that I live in an untested relationship, that we have been flying in hormonal intoxication for sixteen years. First with love, then with pregnancy, breastfeeding, another pregnancy and so on. My husband and I went to Rome or Valencia, but for two or three days, only here and there, and we were already sad and we were happy to return. I grew up in a big family and longed for a big family, so I have nothing to complain about, I live my dream. I don't need more. I am a very happy person.

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Have you never wanted to go to the Prague theater like so many of your colleagues?

When I don't decide how to live, I just live. As if online, you understand? I'm not doing anything I don't want. Neither in life nor in the theater. How many times did situations come in that didn't suit me, made me sore and complicated things, but they just came and I accepted them. This is my right way. I take what is coming, I live to the fullest and therefore I have no bugs in my closet, nothing to regret or blame, or any departure to Prague. If I wanted to, I 'm going there. At the same time, if someone told me that I would be in one Brno engagement for twenty-five years…

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Wouldn't you believe it?

Of course she didn't believe it! Or if someone told me I was married, I would, like that. And you see, it didn't take away my freedom, as I feared. It didn't take my wings. I have a guy who gives me those wings and a job that gives them to me. When I went to work in Prague several times and maybe shot something, I realized how stressful my freelance colleagues are, how they are afraid of work, they fly between productions that pay them late, they are stressed by their bills, they are afraid of competition. I don't envy them. No other theater in our country offers me as much as the Brno City Theater, because I can play drama and musicals! It gives me peace of mind. In addition, during the pandemic, I was sure that I would not only get money for what I played, but that I could rest easy. That's the freedom - albeit in engagement. On the other hand, not every engagement would be that good. I'm a rebel and a pedant for what I live. I want to live in freedom. And love what I play. And it's a miracle that I have both, freedom and security at the same time.

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How hard is it to know that this is the right path for you when you follow it?

So hard! And there are so many dead ends at every turn! And so many times I got into them and charged myself so much that I was afraid I wouldn't survive. But we're not on vacation here, are we? Life is not a reward. And I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

Aren't you afraid of death?

Not a bit. Just so my dear people don't cry. Not to be afraid of death like me.

Is it that the older you are, the less you fear death?

I do not think so. Rather, it is how you compare values ​​and how peaceful your soul is. And it is trained every day. A million forces are waiting for you to decipher it. When you inhale and exhale, you calmly accept life and death. And all the help that is around each of us. Every day you have a lot of helpers, thanks to which you grow to calm and acceptance. When you let things flow and don't fight them, you just accept them, you don't make a mistake in your life.

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How do you feel about faith?

I'm not in any church. But today I know that it may be okay to sit in church, meet people before God. I used to reject Christianity, today I say to myself - why not? Fellowship in faith has power, stopping in church can be essential for someone. In fact, even that meeting in the community has power even without God. We are losing togetherness, and that is a mistake. I want to know if the neighbor has already reaped the way, as usual, I want to live a warmth among the people. Today, everyone has a remote control gate so that they don't even have to get out of the car when they come home, so they don't have to talk to anyone. You get out in the garage in the house and you don't meet anyone. At the same time, common interpersonal warmth is the most charming and interesting, the truest. I want to live that. Not meeting characters in the series or celebrities on the front pages of newspapers and magazines - and I'm talking a little against myself and you - what really has value is not news from the world of celebrities, but news from the world of my neighbors and friends, that's a lot More importantly, that's what I want to know. How are my people, not famous people!

You will be fifty next year. I'm not asking how you're getting older, but how you're getting older on stage in the ensemble you've known for so long.

I'm so glad I don't have to play young girls in love anymore and break my heart! Just let someone else do it again. And feel free to ask me how I'm getting older, because I want to age well.

What does it mean to age well?

Be happy. That's how easy it is. Just be happy. I'm much more afraid of aging than being a good mom.

It is difficult?

Sure, not for a cow. I'm such a cow mom so many times! For example, yesterday: my husband was working in Prague, my mother couldn't babysit, I with four children, everyone else in school, rehearsal, performance, the youngest Maruška was supposed to be in the theater, I just crashed into the steering wheel and cried: It's not possible in one person get everything! And you start an avalanche when your mother is crying, it's like dominoes and the kids get caught right away and they're also uncomfortable. There is one such moment that I sometimes recognize, the moment when I say to myself: Now just inhale and exhale and don't scream! Just don't say it, don't be a stupid mom! Any aging? Where the fear of aging is when you shout at your own children! Then I apologize. And they just: Mommy, glue!

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What is their puberty?

Wonderful little girls. Janík is more complicated, probably if we started with a boy, there wouldn't be so many of us at home. He's tough. When he says no, he means no. I was afraid of him for a year and a half, when he was little. My husband had a difficult relationship with my father. Unfortunately, I have never experienced it. If I am a life optimist, he is a blunt optimist, he will find a solution in everything, a bright spot in every marasmus. He's cheerful, we laugh all the time, he doesn't say anything bad about anyone. He only spoke of his father with reserve. And it occurred to me: what if Janík is after him, after his grandfather. Then I said to myself that I welcome the fact that what did not happen in the previous generation must somehow come to life now. When Janík was lying in a shop on the ground doing theater, I wouldn't buy him anything…

Are you dealing with people getting to know you in such a situation?

I go unpainted, so they don't know me. "You're like the Antals!" "They tell me any minute!" And I smile and move on. I'm not very knowledgeable. And I don't deal with it either. Well, my husband came when I was so afraid I wouldn't make it to the boy, and he says: "Don't worry, we'll spoil it, we're going out, we'll take it out, don't worry about it!" And it worked out, Janík is such a good boy! He was at the camp for a week this year, he kept a guard and smeared bread at night, I picked him up and the leader said: "Janík was under siege by the girls and he is a big gentleman!" .

Is it a difference to raise a daughter and a son?

My husband met me when he had a fourteen-year-old son from his first relationship, so I'm actually a grandmother today. They moved my couch on the first date. I watched him start dating girls, Pepík, my husband, was very liberal at the time. It is much stricter for girls today. The oldest Alenka has me as a friend, I do not give orders, my father is a much bigger meter. This is where she came to want a tattoo. Daddy doesn't exist. And she invents getting a tattoo so no one, not even Dad, can see it. I tell her we can't say a ban is a ban.

What about the rebel in you?

These are Alenka's wings. Her balance. And the borders are great. If everything was allowed, he would not enjoy it. When children have everything, they do not perceive it as joy. I have one request: when it comes to the first relationship, to have it beautiful, to have a beautiful memory for life. Take care of that, dear. So that no one will push you into anything. That's my maternal concern for teenage daughters.

Would you like to grow up again?

No. I'm getting better and better in life. I was born into a beautiful loving family, but I still would not want to relive my childhood or adolescence. It was hard to know. Even in the theater, aging is great. Suddenly I appreciate the beauty of theater so much! In every role, I feel the energy of the audience who sits and looks at you the most I want to give.

Which role do you like to play today?

It's like asking me which baby I like best. I like them all the most. And I like everyone's roles. I will never choose one. That love is so infinite that you cannot divide it. But each new role is the hardest until you understand how the character thinks, how she sleeps, how she lives and why she lives that way. When you reach a certain limit in rehearsals, you think of your character - that is, when the performance is good. This is the only theater that makes sense to me. Even when the viewer thinks, he feels the situation with your character when he remains enchanted by the story. No, when she looks at you like an actress, she thinks how it suits you, what kind of costume you have, she rolls her eyes at the stage. But the theater that engulfs him makes sense. When you feel this, it is infinite beauty. And then repeat it. Every evening. With the whole set. But when it works, you touch on the bottom line.

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Is it exhausting or, on the contrary, rechargeable, to play theater like this?

My mom's been afraid all her life when she sees me in the theater. I got a lot of torn roles, I didn't cry as much in my life as I did on stage. And my mother says, "Ali, you will be destroyed!"

What do you call her?

That it would destroy me if I didn't. Even though they are real emotions, they can never bring me to my knees. It's cleansing. A few times in my life I was worried about myself, I was terribly sick.

In what situations?

Well in love, of course! You will learn in such lost love what real pain is. You watch her because you are an actress. You want to know what the emotion looks like so you can really play it. And you know what? Often it's just an emotion inside, and no one outside knows anything. No big gestures, no heartbreaking crying. Just the excruciating inner pain. That's why you can't judge people by how they look on the outside. Laughing doesn't have to say anything about how you really feel.

This year, in addition to the theater, you also took an engagement in the project of the Moravian Regional Library South Moravia Reads, which supports reading for children and adolescents. How did you think about that project?

I thought that if only one more child fell under the spell of books, it makes sense. I failed to read until late, I did not read any compulsory reading, I cheated and copied the reader's diary, and I came to taste the world of fantasy only as a teenager. My kids read more, but we cheat a little there too.

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How?

For example, I drew Janíček's reader's diary. Once, I even pushed his reader's diary to Radka Coufalová, who is not only a famous actress, but also has artistic talent. So jokingly at home I say: "Janička, if you are nominated for an art competition and it turns out that you can't draw, then we are in trouble!" .

Is it hard to look after?

The computer is a huge competition! And it's mainly unfair competition. I'm not completely damaging digital technology, but even an adult easily falls for them and it's hard to correct, it's a magnet. Before the lockdown, it was much easier to keep track of the time children spent on a computer or cell phone. We had wifi at home, but we only caught it in the hall. As the first wave came, the schools closed, the children sat huddled in the hall, and it was clear that our non-technical family had to do something about it. Today we fool crazy, we have four laptops, each child has their own borrowed from school. They could still be online - but I'm not worried about them. And just as nothing can replace books, so does theater. When 3D cinemas arrived, it was said that theater would stop entertaining people and everyone would just sit in multiplexes. It is clear today that this has not happened. I hope it is similar with the Internet. In order for a child to take a book, he or she must have free time internally. And that is the task of us parents, to create that time. And then, once they are trapped in a fantasy world, even the fastest wifi will fail.

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