• 12/04/2022
• By wizewebsite
• 692 Views

Michaela's story: My father shuts himself in and refuses any contact<

I don't remember when my parents and I lived as a family. I was barely five when they divorced. I stayed with my mom, my dad moved out. My mother never married again, she had a friend here and there that she introduced to me. The two even lived with us, but neither lasted long.

As I grew up, I realized that life by her side was probably not easy for men. My mother was very moody, jealous, her hysterical scenes went perfectly. But my mom was great, I was her everything, which she kept showing me. She never bothered her, she would do anything for me. She loved me and I loved her.

Mom had a lover

We didn't talk much about Dad at home. As a little girl, I was not interested in him, my mother was enough for me. Then I wanted to know why ours weren't together, but my mom didn't want to talk about it. One of her seemed to be ashamed of how she behaved, and it's only between her and her dad, it doesn't concern me at all. But she was very wrong. Today I know Dad threw us both in the same bag.

But it more or less occurred to me after my mother's death ten years ago. My aunt, her sister, told me my mother's big secret. Apart from my mother and father, she was the only one who knew the reason for the end of their marriage, and now I would deserve to know. Mom just had a lover, she dragged Dad behind his back for a long time. It was his boss, which his father hated, he complained to him at home about how he was drowning in his work, and his wife had an affair with him.

When it all broke, Dad got up and left. My mother allegedly wanted to save the marriage, but he was adamant, he filed for divorce, packed his suitcase, kept his car and was not interested in anything else. He said he didn't even care about contact with me. He resigned at work.

I only saw Dad a few times as a child

He sent his mother alimony, which the court imposed on him, but he did not want to see me. After a while, he married and had a son and a daughter. I've only seen Dad and my siblings a few times. At first, I only met his whole family during

Sunday afternoons. Then I was with them even for the weekend, I was about twelve. Contact with my father's family was initiated by his second wife, who could not understand that my father did not want to see me. She was sorry that her children had a dad and I didn't, and also that we were actually siblings and should be in touch.

My father's second wife was fine. We only met a few times, but I quite liked her, she was very kind to me. Unlike my father, who didn't pay much attention to me. He was cold, he didn't talk much to me, he averted his eyes. Today I think he was ashamed. He had no reason to hate me, I didn't do anything to him. But he probably blamed me for my mother's betrayal. Contacts with my dad's family stopped over time, so I would visit them. I only wanted a birthday, a holiday and Christmas.

My father is stubborn, I'm said to be my whole mom

Unfortunately, my father's second wife also died. She was seriously ill for almost two years. Her daughter wrote it to me, but not until almost half a year later. At the same time, she asked me if I would sometimes ask my dad that his wife's death was very difficult. She and her brother try to help him, but they both live far away, unlike me, they have families and small children. Of course, I promised to help. I thought maybe Dad and I would finally find our way to each other. I'm alone, I'm almost forty years old and I haven't come across the right one yet. I don't even have children.

But I can't make closer contact with my father. I visited him a few times, offered to help him, but he said just a few words in half, and didn't even look at me properly. He says he doesn't need anything and has children to help him. When I told him that I was also his child, he replied that I was the daughter of the slut and I reminded her too much. He allegedly did not forget what she had done to him and never forgave her.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry he treats me like that. I can't blame you for what my mother did to him. On the one hand, I don't want to give up, because he's my dad, on the other hand, I don't want to be offended. Michaela

Read the psychologist's opinion on the next page.