Christmas Santa as a trauma? The expert said when the desire for a miracle can go wrong<

"I loved Christmas as a child and I certainly wouldn't want to deprive my child of that. That Santa doesn't exist needs to be told to the child at the right time and in the right way, so that he is able to understand why his parents lied to him like that," thinks Helena (28), mother of an almost two-year-old boy. Psychotherapy expert Anděl in Prague agrees with her view of tradition.

"The child goes through a kind of intermediate phase, when he himself has an idea of ​​how things are, but he continues to play the game - for the sake of his younger sibling and for himself. We have an ingrained need to experience some small miracle. And children and adults alike enjoy being part of the mysterious Christmas Day," psychotherapist Jan Kulhánek told Blesk Zprávám.

The expert does not recommend giving up on tradition from early childhood. Giving gifts surrounded by mystery and mystery corresponds to a child's magical thinking and belongs to Christmas. Bells, peeping through the keyhole and parents' efforts to create the magic of Christmas also help children understand what the concept of tradition actually is and it develops their imagination.

When trauma is combined with joy

Parents often try to find ingenious evidence of Jesus, such as traces in the flour or the release of rockets behind the house. “It can be overdone if it makes children anxious. Also, the parents may not agree on the activities, and this will cause tension, which sensitive children will quickly sense," adds the psychotherapist.

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The expert points out that there are also cases when a child sees everything and feels besieged. Here, according to Kulhánek, great caution is needed, especially on the part of parents. "If parents see it as a lie, and not as a tradition or a game, then they will have a moral problem delegating Santa as the bearer of gifts. In addition, if a child starts shouting in first grade that mom and dad are bringing the presents, he will be punished by the team," he explains.

“I felt like a fool. At school, the other kids played it for me, and when I came home, ours continued to play it. I was worried that they were making a fool of me," says Anna (24), who wants to get rid of Jesus for her future children.

A baby with a sack or a grandfather in red?

What does such a Jesus look like? Each baby Jesus is original and a lot depends on what the child is told by the parent and what he sees around him and in the media. Diary AHA! a few years ago, he published a few drawings of pupils, the generous donor was often depicted as a baby in a manger, and thanks to the influence of the state, an old man in a red robe appeared behind a large puddle in the pictures.

“In any case, this tradition develops a child's imagination. He and his parents tell stories about Santa Claus, draw him and after a certain time learn to write letters. It supports imagination and curiosity," says Kulhánek. Children also learn to deal with emotions. In pre-school age, they usually have unlimited faith and stay by the window trying not to fall asleep before Santa picks up the letter. Gradually they get suspicious and the child keeps the last remnants of faith alone.

Is the tradition of Jesus Christ sustainable in today's relatively open world? "It's going well so far, but I don't know how it will continue. Maybe it will change somehow or a different tradition will emerge. Multicultural families already have, for example, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, etc. In addition, they are around advertising for gifts, and different customs from abroad, where everyone does things differently, come to light a lot," concludes Kulhánek.