• 05/02/2023
• By wizewebsite
• 456 Views

Puberty is nothing tragic, although sometimes it may seem like the end of the world<

What are the most common manifestations of pubertal children? Puberty is an eternal struggle with a child's thinking and an adult body. First of all, every teenager thinks long and seriously about how he - a genius - was born to such impossible parents. The most frequent conflicts are related to a non-conformist approach to life (in contrast to parents), the teenager abandons all the activities he used to like and indulges in constant conversations on various topics, i.e. he does not work at home, neglects his hobbies and just talks (or currently talks on social media networks), or does nothing at all. He tests himself and his surroundings, he is willing to risk his life in a bet, he is able to risk things that he would not otherwise do (steal, paint on the walls, etc.) in order to be included among his friends. But the biggest problem of a teenager is us adults. We have not taught him to distinguish what is clearly good and what is clearly bad. It is absolutely essential to determine the basic values ​​in the family, which will not be exceeded in any case.

Can such behavior be prevented? Above all, it is necessary to make it clear to adolescent children that they are ours, that we love them and, above all, to listen to their problems, which we cannot trivialize. In the eyes of a teenager, a parent does not lose weight when he admits that he messed up, can't or doesn't understand something. Above all, it is important to constantly remind and show the teenage child his place in the family, ask him for his opinion, position on a problem that affects the whole family, use his knowledge and skills for the benefit of the family. We all know very well that those who were employed had many responsibilities, so they went through puberty better than those who were bored.

What to do if problems of such dimensions arise? Should the parents try to solve them themselves or is it a good idea to immediately seek out a specialist? If the child has not had rules of behavior set by this time, it is already late in puberty. Hyperprotective parenting is also very problematic. Don't trample children's way through life. Sometimes a well-broken nose at the beginning of life is better than a gift in the form of a villa or an expensive car. It is no longer possible to ignore such behavior of a child that threatens others, when the child harms someone in the family or destroys someone else's property. Otherwise, it remains to be reminded that the sooner parents seek out experts, the better, even in rare cases.

How to deal with lying? In simple terms: lying in itself is nothing we haven't encountered. He who has never lied is not telling the truth. To explain the escalation of behavioral disorders, the old saying "he who lies, steals and can even kill" applies. This sentence needs to be adhered to, especially with adolescent children. It is also necessary to know what the lie has brought to the child. If the lie once "passed" unnoticed adults, the child tends to repeat the behavior from which he profited. However, I would strongly disagree with a harsh punishment for lying, as the fear of punishment will only make lying stronger.

How should we parents advise ourselves so that we don't add fuel to the fire? At first, parents don't even realize that they have a child entering puberty. We mostly associate it with great difficulties in education. We also make fun of puberty a little, but let's face it: Who hasn't had puberty? A little bit of "craziness, disobedience and revolt" is part of life. It's even normal at the age of 15. It's worse when "adolescence" comes to the father or mother from the family at the age of 40. Let's not demonize puberty, it is a natural developmental period that takes place very individually and if the parents were good parents until puberty, they will usually survive their own children's puberty without major problems.

What to do if the parents do not live together and the child visits more often the parent who is more benevolent towards his transgressions. The effort of a more responsible parent to correct a failing child thus becomes completely meaningless? It does not matter whether the parents live together or not. Uniform education is much more important. I do not think that the so-called friendly education or friendly relationship with the child is suitable. Each parent has certain responsibilities and powers than a friend - they are incomparable relationships. Respect for parents also carries with it some secrets that parents should not know. In connection with the question, however, what comes to my mind is more the problem of settling accounts or punishing the other parent with a benevolent approach to children's misdeeds. Those parents who do not currently have a child in their care tend to be more benevolent - the child comes to visit them and so they do not need to "spoil this visit with education". Unfortunately, they do not realize that parenting is a lifelong role, even if the parents live in the same household or they are not alive, so both of them have an influence on the upbringing of the child and both are responsible for the upbringing of their child.

Please advise how to survive this unpleasant period of our teenage children so that neither we nor our children suffer scars on the body and soul? I would just like to repeat again that puberty is nothing tragic, although in some cases like the approaching end of the world looks like Let's look forward to when it ends - that will happen the moment the child comes of age. When will it be? Someone will mature faster, someone will not succeed completely throughout their life. Let's be patient and let's not forget that we too were teenagers.

Dagmar Čerňanská